Lee Note 43 Mary Sue Wilson May 15, 2001

Dear Kay,

I left high school with the most magical feeling about Baytown. My friends tell me that I should write about Baytown being the Garden of Eden, the greatest place in the world to grow up! Well, that's how I felt and still do; though it's not quite like it was when we were young.

After graduation, I went off to Rice with a bunch of my REL classmates (John Sylvester, Martha McKean, Mary Lee, Sumner Bowen, John Sweeney, Richard Bain, Vernon Olney, Al Dennis, Billy Williams and probably a couple of more that I am not remembering right now).

I absolutely loved Rice, since there were all these smart people and I was one of the least smart (so no pressure to perform, which I did NOT! I was perfectly happy with a C average until I got to my major, which turned out to be economics, not psychology as I originally intended...only one guy in the department and he was certifiable, not the kind of fellow you want to learn psychology from!).

Also, it helped that the ratio of women to men was 4:1, so I had a very active social life! I also made friends for life of the group I ran with, a very important part of my present life.

I met Dan Barnum my senior year, an architecture major in his 5th year after returning from a TDY in Vietnam with the Navy. We were married in Oct. of 1964 and decided right away to put off future until we had traveled in Europe, so saved my salary for a year (I was a clerk at Texas Instruments, with a Rice degree!) and headed for Europe in May of 1966.

It was a life-changing year, for sure. We lived in a small tent we bought in Germany and packed into our new VW bug we'd picked up at the factory. We traveled all over the continent until it got too cold, then headed for London where we'd lined up a job for my husband.

Lived in a cold-water flat, sharing with a barrister (attorney) from New Zealand to make expenses manageable, made all sorts of friends and traveled Britain from stem to stern on the weekends.

Some of the most unforgettable were 2 weeks in Ireland at spring break with Bill Broyles and his Oxford roommate Andrew Coburn, whose family home we visited (his dad was famous author Claude Coburn). The part of the house where we stayed was built in the 12th century and there really were little maids in black dresses and white aprons to turn down our beds at night!

Danna and Jim Redford visited us just at the end of our stay in London (and thought we had English accents, at which time our English friends guffawed). Then back to the continent for 6 more months of traveling before we came home.

Although we spent 20 years married to each other and divorced 16 years ago, D. and I are still really good friends and have never grown away from our feelings of being world citizens. We brought up two wonderful children:

Betsy (now 31) is a social worker in San Antonio, married to Buddy Morris; she now stays home to raise her 2 wee ones. Jeff is an artist (age 29), married to Louisa (from New Zealand...they met in Amsterdam, where they were both living at the time) and has a 15-month-old daughter.

Now grandchildren weren't even a gleam in my eye when they began to show up (both first ones just before their parents' first anniversary) but they are the delight of my life! Just never knew how thrilling it could be to have a message on your answering machine saying "Mimi, I love you and miss you...when are you coming to my house?!" (melt)

As for my personal life, I went to grad school when I divorced (1984), got a Masters in Clinical Psychology, and went into private practice with an agency first, then on my own with an office-mate in 1989, where I still am quite happily practicing in the Rice Village! I live in a wonderful remodeled cottage just five minutes away, just north of the Rice campus.

Never thought I would be single for any time at all (hadn't looked that far ahead) but have made the most of it. My psychodrama training took me to Russia, training a group of psychologists and psychiatrists in psychodrama over a 5-year period...13 trips to Moscow!

I always wanted to be a pioneer and finally got to be. I'm quite proud of what my graduates are doing in the field presently. I am currently writing a book on something called Bibliodrama, in which I facilitate a group to explore, in action using psychodrama techniques, a piece of Wisdom literature, encouraging them to make their own connections to the characters, stories and situations.

I'm surely not a literalist and feel that we must each take responsibility for our beliefs (not just regurgitate what we are taught) and learn respect and tolerance for those of others. So my groups are fun (it's play...no rules), profound and passionate...it's my favorite thing to do.

Unfortunately, I can't as yet make a living doing it, though I've done workshops in Europe and in Australia, as well as here...am hoping to be able to retire from the practice and just do Bibliodrama.

I really wish my parents were here to enjoy my family and my sister's now (Betsy married Rick Thompson the second time around and they are happily about to reach year 25 in San Antonio, with a son and grandson).

Mama died in 1971, when I was pregnant with Jeff, and Daddy died in 1992...still miss him soooo much. I love it when I hear some of you talk about him and Mama!

In summary, meaning in my life comes from being really alive in the world...emotionally, spiritually, physically (I exercise daily, do Pilates and walk), and mentally. I am not currently partnered, although I hope to be at some point, but my life is full of wonderful friends, and I am frequently found to be painting, photography, gardening, or writing on my weekends, if I am not on an airplane! I have a wonderful guest room and am always open to company. Life is GOOD!

I am so very grateful to you, Kay, for helping us be in touch with each other. As my Rice friends and I have found, we grow dearer to each other each day and week as we grow older. I am also very grateful to all of you who made my high school days so very wonderful...I will never forget you!

Hoping to hear from you (and perhaps I'll be able to attend the mini-reunion this summer, though I fear it will interfere with my plans to raft the Grand Canyon!)

Mary Sue Wilson Barnum (go by Sue Barnum now)